I am convinced we take altogether too much time to learn things. Generally speaking, in life we do not need to "master" much in order to thrive and succeed. As we grow into adults, we adapt and learn and obtain a "working knowledge" of many things. This is true in our jobs, in parenting, in managing a home, you name it! It's more than just "getting by", but not quite to the level of mastery. A true working knowledge of things allows you to accomplish tasks, participate in activities, and succeed in small areas that otherwise might not be your main life interest.
I, for example, have gained a WEAK working knowledge of cooking. It is just enough to provide meals for my family. However, I am not nearly as proficient as I would like to be, AND it has taken me 14 years of marriage and I still feel like I'm barely getting by in the kitchen. This all got me thinking about how we learn, learning curves, and available time. I believe that most tasks, skills, and subjects can be learned to a strong working knowledge in just a week of dedicated study and practice. I am thinking along the lines of a boot camp. After that, the skill must be practiced, refined, and rehearsed if it is to stick and improve, but the bulk of the knowledge can be accomplished in just a week. Here is the rub. Most of us do not have a dedicated week to learn a new skill because our time is spent tending to a myriad of other responsibilities. I do not have the luxury of dedicating a full week to learning a new skill because I have a home and family to manage. I have, however, taught myself a few things during the wee hours of the night when the children are in bed, and in relatively short amounts of time! In just a few minutes I learned how to order multiple items at a restaurant in Swedish. In just a few hours I learned how to knit. In just a few nights I learned how to play the tin whistle, and in just a couple weeks of nights I learned how to play the ukulele. There are so many more skills I would love to learn, but long nights get hard on me! How I wish I had the time to dedicate a week to gaining a new working knowledge in so many skills. But I do not. However, our children do--at least, those children who are home-schooled. So now I'm thinking about what all can be learned in just a week. I came up with a list of 50+ skills that can be learned from zero to working knowledge, even maybe to mastery, in just a 40-hour week. From this list, I think it would be fun to pick one and teach it to my whole family for a week. Just one. Everyone learns, even me! I haven't decided which to work on... so many good choices!!! What do you think I should try? Which would you choose for yourself or your kids? What would you add to the list? I have begun linking the below topics with free lessons online. The ones with an asterisk* are ones I have personally used and recommend. The others are ones I just found doing a quick search. (I am not sponsored or compensated by any of these.) If you know of a good free resource online for any of these, let me know and I will link them! I would like to challenge you to choose one and dive in! See what you can accomplish in just a week of dedicated learning! And I will do the same! 50+ Crash-Course Ideas for Homeschoolers From Zero to Working-Knowledge or even Mastery in just one week!
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Overall I'm the type of person who doesn't have much difficulty maintaining my weight, or even dropping a couple pounds when things start to creep up. However, during my last pregnancy, I battled gestational diabetes, and finally beat it without medication only toward the end. Praise God she and I were and are both healthy, but I'm pretty sure the diabetes didn't altogether disappear. If I am careful with my diet, I feel fine, but I can tell when I indulge too much that my body is responding in a manner consistent with Type II Diabetes. Plus, since her birth, I've been prone to huge indulgences and lack of self-control as a result of "depriving" myself during my pregnancy. So I need to get things under control. I am nursing my baby, so I can't make too drastic a change, but I've been mulling over a list of simple "10 Skinny Girl Rules" that I can try to follow. So here goes!
I decided to start a new hobby. Glass-blowing. I am not really an artist, I don't have any experience or training, I've never really been shown how or taught, but I think it will be nice and beautiful and fun and will be a blessing to my family.
Here's the problem. Every time I try my hand at glass-blowing, my neighbors come over and smash my work. I don't think they always do it on purpose, but it happens every time they come into my workspace. And of course, they don't help me clean it up or pay for the materials. I have tried to show them how to be careful around my work. I have tried to involve them in glass-blowing so they take an interest in it as well, but they just aren't interested in the process, nor do they value the results of my work, amateur as it may be. I have tried keeping them out of my workspace, but they show no regard for my requests. Nothing seems to work. But I keep trying. I mean, I really want to be good at glass-blowing, AND I really want to have my neighbors over. So in the interest of maintaining good friendships and not driving myself batty I choose to limit my glass-blowing efforts. I would just give up altogether, but I feel like this is REALLY important! Now I have a confession. I'm not a glass-blower. I'm a home-maker. The "neighbors" are actually my 6 children. I would love for my hobby to be keeping an orderly home as a blessing to my family and guests, but try as I might, every effort I make is thwarted by the little neighbors I can't kick out! Of course, I love my children, and only tease about kicking them out, but the struggle is real, friends! I have tried systems, training, rewards and consequences, but to no avail. My home is a home of chaos, and I'm losing interest in perusing this "hobby" with any more effort than enough to purely survive. Which is where I always seem to be: in survival mode. Is this the way we are meant to be--constantly in a place where we feel like we are two dips shy of drowning in every area in which we dream of excelling: home-making, home-schooling, parenting, marriage, work, our relationship with Christ? Certainly not! For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. 1 Corinthians 14:33 NKJV Yet here I stand. I can write encouragements to you and to myself, tips and tricks for decluttering and cleaning and maintaining the home, Scripture references, and kitschy sayings, but for the moment it won't change the way I am feeling about my struggle. And it won't change that I do struggle. And it won't change the way my house looks or the way my kids undo my every effort. So I will nurse my baby and quiz my kids on their Bible Bee passages, and continue to dream of a tidy, orderly, peaceful home, while I continue to live in survival mode, while in my heart desiring excellence. Anyone who ever said, "People who have a bunch of children are just selfish" never ended the day having eaten a sandwich for dinner because by the time the kids had all eaten there wasn't any "dinner" left! Not that I don't like sandwiches... it's just one small example of how "selfish" I am. Let's see... things I'd like to do BUT DON'T or CAN'T because I'm just too selfish, what with having six kids and all.... take Karate... instead, I let 3, soon 4, of mine take karate while I nurse a baby on the sidelines and help them practice at home so they can place in the next tournament learn piano, harp, cello, clarinet, & jazz/blues singing... instead, I teach my kids basic piano, ukulele, voice, tin whistle, and percussion, while I dream of getting them "real lessons" and having my oldest become the jazz/blues singer I know is in her and the lot of us being a family choir take ballroom dance and go dancing every week... instead, I dream of the day we might be able to get my oldest into jazz & tap, and my 2nd into gymnastics, and my boys into gymnastics and tap, and all of them into square and line dancing and ballroom learn Swedish and German and ASL... instead, I provide Spanish curriculum for my kids and teach them rudimentary ASL read a book... instead, I teach my children how to read, read them ridiculous and wonderful picture books and classic books, and provide thousands of books for them in our home which they can access at any time. Other things I'd like to do, but because I'm so selfish, I just don't: -have an uninterrupted phone conversation... or any conversation for that matter! -take a shower whenever I want to.... by myself -buy myself a snack without having to buy 5 others -hang out with my husband just because we enjoy each other's company and not have to find a sitter to do so -buy myself nice clothes because we can afford it and it's not going to get ruined by muddy hands and sticky kisses -have nice furniture because it's not going to get climbed on, get drawn on, or come into contact with bodily fluids -have the house stay clean after I've cleaned it... for even 5 minutes So yes. I'm sorry I'm just so selfish to have so many kids. Heaven help us if we have any more! I might just become too selfish for anyone to stand being around me! ;) Now that I've vented a little and had some time to cool off, I'd like to share the truth about why we have what some may call "so many kids". The truth is, we believe every word in the Bible and the Bible says children are a REWARD and a HERITAGE. Psalm 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. Also, even though it's tough being a parent, and kids are hard, I wouldn't return any of them. Can you imagine having to select one of your kids to get rid of because someone else suddenly decided you had too many? You couldn't possibly choose! So if the ones we have are so precious to us, what prevents us from having more? Usually, fear.
The way to combat these fears in my opinion is literally to jump right in and trust God to take care of the rest! He always does! We've learned that each time we've discovered a pregnancy. There will always be fear this side of eternity. But there will always be God, on both sides! He loves you AND your children way more than you ever could, and He wants to bless you. Receive His blessings and go forth! ;) Because I have a short attention span and get bored easily, it is extremely hard for me to stick to a cleaning routine. I just end up changing it every week! So I have to create little tricks for myself to get myself to clean the house. Sad, I know, but that's where I am.
These are some of the things I will do, depending on the feel of the day! 1) Start with trash. Fill a bag as fast as you can with any trash you find. Empty trash cans and recycling into barrels. Throw away broken things and papers that don't require thought! This should be a mindless activity, because honestly, thinking is hard, and making decisions is exhausting. Keep it light and quick! 2) Choose a surface and clear it as fast as you can, putting everything that doesn't belong into a basket or bag. When the surface is clear, put the things away that are in the basket/bag. 3) Set a timer for 15 mins and work in one small area as fast as you can. Dishes, or floors, or bathroom, or bedroom, or a closet, or the car, or wherever. 4) Pick up 10 like-items and put them away. Then switch items. So 10 toys, then 10 books, then 10 clothes, etc. 5) Give stuff away! Similar to #1, but fill a box/bag in 2 minutes with stuff to donate. Or plan a yard sale for THIS WEEKEND and load it up! Schedule a donation center to come pick up whatever doesn't sell by 4pm that day so you don't have to haul it anywhere. 6) Take pictures before you start, and again after two minutes of super-speed-cleaning. Work in a very small area and see what you can accomplish. 7) Start with the first room people see when they come over, or what your husband sees when he comes home. This might be the front porch, or the mud room, or the kitchen. 8) Start with your bedroom. Having a clean sanctuary is very calming and motivating. 9) Start with the furthest room from where visitors come. It's likely to be the most neglected. 10) Invite someone new over for dinner this weekend... that'll motivate! haha 11) Start with the smallest room in the house, usually a small bathroom, or a walk-in closet or pantry. Then work on the next smallest, and so on. 12) Start with the the cleanest room, and then the next and so on. 13) Start with the room that is the first place you see or go after you leave your room in the morning. 14) Start with loading machines... getting your servants to work for you! Washer, dryer, dishwasher, crockpot. 15) Start by opening blinds & windows, getting fresh sunlight and air into the house! Which of these have you tried or are most likely to gravitate toward? What other things have you tried? Let me know!! By Crystal Turner
4/29/2018 I am a mom. I have 6 kids. SIX... KIDS... And they are my blessing! And my busy-ness. I also work full-time As a teacher. I homeschool my kids. All day. Every day. My house is not perfect. Far from it, actually. My kids get dirty. Funny thing, kids and dirt. They seem to attract each other. Especially when your backyard... Is dirt. Their clothes get dirty, too. Even stained. *GASP* My girls have long hair That gets tangly. And sometimes, My kids cry Because I tell them "No." And set boundaries And establish discipline. And sometimes They Just Cry. If you were passing by And saw my kids Dirty In stained clothes With unbrushed hair Coming out of a Lived-in Played-in Schooled-in Home, Crying, You might have initial doubts About my parenting methods, Abilities, Attitudes. You might even consider calling "The Professionals" To handle such a SEVERE case Of neglect And abuse. But what don't you see? You don't see siblings Happily playing tag in the backyard, "Sledding" down the hill That is made of dirt In their new clothes On their bellies. You don't see me Nursing a baby While trying to pay bills, Make doctor appointments, And plan dinner While the toddler gets undressed... Again. You don't see the art projects The science projects The sewing and crochet projects The building projects Being started, worked on, and abandoned or completed By every child And adult Daily. You don't see The thousands of pages of literature Being read in every corner of my house At every hour Day and night. You don't hear The simplest melodies Being butchered And mastered On Great Grandma's piano. You don't see children Learning how to "cook" and "bake"... By themselves. But not yet cleaning up their mess. You don't see An exhausted and stressed man Come home and want nothing more than to collapse But instead pile six children on and around him To read each of them the book of their choice Before praying with and for them. You don't see The cuddles, the kisses, the smiles, the chats The tickles, the hugs, the wrestling, the games You don't hear The "tuck-me-in" and "I-need-a-drink" The "Mommy come wipe my butt" The "Daddy I threw up" The "I had a dry night!" The "The toothfairy came!" The "I get an allowance?!" The "Watch what I can do!" The "I'm sorry, Mommy." The "I love you." The "I love you, too." You don't know that My mom wasn't around When I was a kid And my dad raised four of us By Him Self. That I didn't know how to cook Or clean Or manage money Or manage a home Or garden Or shop Or plan meals When I got married And have learned nearly everything I know From YouTube, blogs, books, friends, and radio programs. You don't see that I have had to learn EVERYTHING As I go And I still have a LONG WAY TO GO. All you see Or THINK you see is A mother shouting at her children, "GRAB YOUR SHOES AND GET IN THE CAR!" But you don't see that I am trying-- Desperately-- To gather my ducklings And rush them out of the house To karate Or church Or Costco. My Friend. If you see a family Whose children appear unkempt Whose mother appears ragged Whose home appears untidy Be slow to pass judgement And quick to offer a loving hand And friendship... And a real grown-up conversation. She probably hasn't had one of those, Or a shower, All week. And please, For the sake of the children, Make calling "The Professionals" A last resort. Written on behalf of myself, a victim of childhood trauma at the hands of CPS, and every honest-to-goodness Mother and Father out there who has had the unfortunate experience of being visited by "The Professionals" on account of a conflict-avoidant-busy-body-do-gooder unnecessarily calling in a complaint against a family who they know nothing about because they have only taken the time to judge them and make assumptions about them but haven't taken the time to actually meet them and get to know them. I want to clarify... no one called on us, but people--"FRIENDS"--have advised our In-Laws to call on us, which they didn't to God's credit! However, when I was a kid our family was needlessly harrassed multiple times and we were removed from our home as very small children once. I wrote this because a lady shared that her family was reported because her children were dirty and her home was untidy. And my heart broke for them. This is just a grown-up version of tattle-taling, and it is cowardly. I want to also add that there are times... albeit few... when children are removed from a dangerous situation. But why did it get that way? Because we've been taught that it isn't our business and to not butt-in and to just call "The Professionals". The truth is that if you actually build relationships with your neighbors, and talk to them and get to know them, you will KNOW if there is a problem. And the rest of us... well we need to be approachable and teachable. If someone comes to us with a concern, we need to acknowledg that and own it, even if it's not necessarily founded. This is a good reminder to me, to all of us, to make EVERY effort to live at peace with ALL men. I can do this by making every effort to see to it that my kids are dressed appropriately for leaving the house, that we reach out to our neighbors, that we maintain our home and property. We are to be a light, Christian Family! A light that shines the love of Jesus to our spouse, children, and neighbors. And neighbor... before judging a person by how many kids they have or how they live their life, take a look at your own life and examine yourself honestly. Are you truly worthy of the position as their judge? Have you attained perfection? If not, and I'm guessing not, then judge not, gossip not, and call not. Every year for the past ten years we have had the tradition of visiting a local farm during the month of October with some sweet and dear friends we affectionately call "Uncle Matt" and "Aunt Jess". Well today was that day! We look forward to doing the same three things each time we visit: go through the 4-acre corn maze, play in the kids' play area, and ride the tractor-train around the farm. Some years we buy veggies or fruit or pumpkins for cooking or carving at their farmer's market. One year we had the kids ride the ponies and most years we indulge in "Mexican Corn". Now, if you haven't had Mexican Corn you don't know what you're missing! This is fresh corn, fire-roasted, then topped with globs of My husband and I have made teaching obedience to our children a top priority. Why?
First, it is for their safety. If they can't obey something as simple as "Come here, please." then they won't have the practice or trustworthiness to obey immediately when we say, "Don't touch that!" as they're reaching for a spider, or when we say, "Stop!" as they are running toward a street. Second, it is to teach them ultimate obedience to God. God will sometimes ask us to If you've read my previous post about my issues with controlling my temper, it should not surprise you that this is an ongoing effort for me. More on this in a minute.
Recently, my bestie (who inspires all of my best ideas!) was telling me about this homeschool conference she went to and how she heard this lovely speaker discuss the importance of establishing good habits in ourselves and our children. I thought this was a great idea and had many in mind. The first habit I wanted to I remember years ago talking with a friend about sin. Everyone sins, and some worse than others, and all in different ways and to varying degrees. I remember feeling somewhat frustrated because I had come to realize that people often view me as "Little Miss Perfect" and some have even called me that to my face, both as an insult and as a little joke. I knew of course that I'm not perfect and never will be. But I was having a hard time convincing certain people of it. My problem was this: I didn't know what my "sin-issue" was, so how could others!
Now before you start calling me names and judging me, just hear me out. In my |
Crystalmommy & teacher to four daughters and two sons, & four asleep before birth Jump to These Posts!
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